Asking someone to elaborate on what they say is another surefire way to get them to divulge more information. Make the other person feel comfortable and encourage them to share more about themselves. Conversations are like journeys—they start full of excitement and energy and end up feeling flat and dull. Finding ways to bring some life into the conversation is essential to avoid this fate. Open-ended questions allow a person to elaborate on their answers, giving you greater insight into their thoughts and opinions. Asking good open-ended questions requires practice.

How To Have Deep Conversations (with Examples)

The really interesting conversations are about passions, interests, and dreams. But you need to make small talk before people are comfortable enough to dive deeper into more fascinating topics. I compiled the questions above as a list for your reference. However, you don’t want to interview the other person — you want to have a conversation. In between these questions, share relevant things about yourself. The conversation might take off in any direction, far away from the timeline.

It’s the same skill that will help you keep a conversation going. This is because people with strong social connections tend to have better health behaviors, cope better with stress, and have a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life. Just remember that though you might be fascinated with the conversation, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person feels the same way. Try to find something that the other person is interested in to talk about. It’s best if that thing is something that interests you, as well. You can talk about your similar experiences or ask questions about what to do.

Just as meetings run more smoothly with a predetermined set of topics, your social conversations could benefit from similar planning. If you know you’ll be in the car with your carpool partner for an hour, think of three or four things you think would be fun to kick around. Similarly, with your romantic partner, planning a list of items you can cover at dinner could also keep the conversation alive. ECCP trains couples over the course of a nine-module series.

If a convo reaches a lull, think about the topics they seemed to be responding to more and go there, suggests Klapow. “Ask questions that allow the person to talk about what is most comfortable to them,” he tells Bustle. One of the best skills you can develop to keep a conversation going is active listening. Active listening means genuinely focusing on the speaker, their words, and their emotions.

However, the trick is to go places you know the people you meet will have common interests. This will help the conversation will flow better and make it easier to make friends. The above is a great example of how you can keep the conversation flowing. If you want to watch someone who uses this method, watch a news interview. You’ll see how they warm up the conversation with narrow questions and then lead to open-ended questions.

Knowing when to speak and when not to speak is a fundamental skill that needs to be learned https://vocal.media/confessions/how-to-sign-up-and-start-meeting-people-on-best-dates intuitively. You don’t have to pepper your conversation with witty one-liners or even tell jokes. A well-timed sarcastic or self-deprecating comment can raise a laugh just as well.

This naturally opens up an avenue for further discussion. A really good listener will be well prepared to keep the conversation moving along when the pace slows and interest seems to be dwindling. If you’ve been paying close attention, you can also show empathy by putting yourself in the speaker’s shoes. In fact, ‘why’ questions are great if you want to dig a little deeper and develop the conversation. A top tip to make sure you keep your questions ‘open’ is to start with what, where, when, why, who, or how.

There’s a cool band playing at a local venue next week…”. This smoothly transitions to a related topic while keeping the conversation going. Great conversations aren’t just pleasant, they’re essential for success in sales, networking, and personal relationships. One way to do this is by broadening the conversation. If the other person doesn’t seem interested in whatever it is you’re talking about, move on to another different but related subject. It’s usually easier to keep a conversation going if you’re talking about something you both enjoy.

This not only keeps the initial conversation flowing but also signals your genuine curiosity about what they have to say. Use conversations with new people as practice for improving your skills. The ECCP intervention was focused on married couples, but its principles can be translated to a variety of less intense situations. Let’s say you’re seated next to someone you’ve never met at a dinner for supporters of a local cause.

how to keep conversation going

Punctuation and capitalization can also help emphasize your excitement over a certain statement or idea. And if all else fails, then don’t be afraid to follow up with your conversation partner for clarity. So, you’ve started a conversation, but how do you keep it going?

  • They should be easy to follow and portray you as a relatable human being.
  • This is OK if you only want to have a quick conversation – for example, if you are quickly passing a co-worker in the hallway.
  • Often just one word is needed to show you are interested and listening.

In this emotional state and frame of mind the conversation and smiles tend to flow naturally and without much thought or hesitation. Here is what has worked the best for me to not get stuck in awkward silences or in not being able to keep a conversation going. If something is not clear, ask open-ended questions that show interest. “You mentioned this new hiking trail being challenging; what made it difficult?

Conversation Starters That Work

” you could talk about tattoos you’d like to get (if it’s true) or a cool tattoo you saw on someone else. If your assumption is correct, they will happily go along with the topic. If you criticize someone else’s interests, they probably won’t want to talk to you, and the conversation might become awkward. Whenever someone’s too eager to talk, they come off as a bit needy. As a result, people are more reluctant to talk to them. But you don’t want to go too far in the opposite direction and appear standoffish.

” If you were to ask this question, the other person would have an opportunity to talk about their hobbies and interests in depth. You could end up talking about lots of different things, depending on what they like to do. Open-ended questions encourage people to open up and share some details about themselves. This can make it easier to keep a conversation going.

If you’re noticing that the person you’re talking to isn’t giving you the same engagement or energy back, come up with a question that requires more than a yes or no answer. They may not be contributing because they’re nervous or don’t feel connected to the conversation, so try asking questions you know they’ll have an answer for. “You could ask them general questions about what they like, what their life is like, etc.,” Klapow suggests. We’ve all bonded with someone over a shared love for a TV series, a sport, or even a favorite food. That kind of common ground almost always invites engaging exchange.

Here’re 3 solid techniques to get you started and so you can socialize with confidence. If your mind goes blank the second someone says, “So, what do you do? Conversation anxiety is real, especially when you’re meeting someone new, trying to impress a crush, or walking into a room full of strangers.

These questions are designed to be open-ended and work well after they’ve said something interesting. They won’t be able to answer with a simple “Yes” or “No”. The last thing you want to do is take up too much time from someone, so end on a high note and pay attention to when it’s time to say goodbye (for now).

This is OK if you only want to have a quick conversation – for example, if you are quickly passing a co-worker in the hallway. Once the conversation is rolling, listen carefully to find what you have in common with others. If you need to have your cell phone on during a business event, put it on vibrate. If you get an important call, excuse yourself to check it, and then return to continue the conversation when you can give it your full attention.

No one likes an awkward pause in the middle of a conversation. We’ve all been there, and if chatting it up isn’t your strong suit, you may cringe at just the thought. Keeping conversations going can be a challenge, especially over text, or if you’re just starting to get to know someone. So, we asked relationship experts to answer all our questions around conversations, from how to start them to how to keep them going.

I used to do indoor rock climbing a while back, it’s a great workout. Sharing a relevant anecdote keeps the exchange balanced. Overall, a good conversation isn’t just about exchanging information, it’s about building connections and fostering a sense of enjoyment. By incorporating these elements, you can turn any conversation into a delightful exchange. Who doesn’t love to talk about what they’re passionate about? Getting curious about someone’s hobbies and interests shows you want to understand them, and you can also try to find some common ground here.

No matter what setting your conversation is held in, Klapow encourages you to focus on being your most authentic self. Acknowledge that you’re human, that lulls or faux pas can happen, and that you’re intentional about connecting with the person you’re talking to. Try to display genuine curiosity in the person you’re talking with.

People get super passionate about their favorite musical artists, TV series, and so on, so ask them about it! You may find you both love the Lord of the Rings series, or you’re both big fans of classic rock. When you end a text conversation, be friendly and brief. You could also mention what you are going to do after the conversation and tell the other person that you hope to catch up soon. But if you rely on them too much, the conversation might stall.

There is a reason one of the first things we’ve covered with thousands of students in our Social Skills Masterclass is how to have better conversations. But if you’ve ever been unsure of how to break the ice or what to say next, let us assure you, you are not alone. A good conversation is all about rhythm, timing, and the exchange of ideas. Be kind when you have a setback (talk to yourself like your best friend would). One thing I quite often do when the conversation has stalled a bit is to take one or two steps back in the conversation and to ask a question. Keep some other good topics in your mental backpocket.

Your body language is a strong indicator of your level of interest in the conversation. Follow-up questions are a natural part of any engaged conversation. Take note that this is another area in which sales reps should proceed with caution. While very subtle mirroring can be effective in building rapport, anything even remotely over the top can end up making things awkward in a hurry.

People gravitate towards those who exude positive energy. Subtle movements show you’re engaged and actively listening, encouraging them to elaborate. This projects warmth, confidence, and genuine interest in what they’re saying. If the silence persists, ask a general, open-ended question like “What are you looking forward to this summer? In short, good conversation builds trust, reveals needs, and lets you present solutions that resonate with the customer. At least one of these forms of media is likely a significant part of someone’s life.

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